Monday, July 31, 2006

Time..Flies

Chemical Depression,.. as in depression caused from a chemical imbalance due to a use of mood altering agents, is a vicious cycle. It imbides one to continue down a spiral of self loathing and dispair, and the only way you can feel normal or good is when your not sober. It doesn't even work all the time, the chemicals to feel good. I now have twenty six hours completely sober. As mentioned previously in a prior post, the fly in my ointment has been alchohol, really for a while now. I've now officially been drunk for half of this year, and completely sober for the other half. What I've learned in the last eight months is what I've known for all too long, nothing good comes from losing ones self in an endless bout of drinking. It has, in all factual actuality, hurt me in every way possible. I've been lucky enough to not fall victim of my own antics, and have managed to be somewhat responsible and not neglect my obligations, completely. The sober part of this year has taught me that I can indeed do great things when I'm dedicated and put my heart into something. That and that if you can't spend time with so called friends without getting fucked up, what kind of relationship does that say that you have with your friends? Is it one worth pursuing simply to have companionship, at the cost of your health , wealth, and good fortune? Hypothetical reflection.................